I’ve seen Galaxies, Milky Ways and Mars
in sweet shops – they’re chocolate bars.
But I’ve never seen them in the night sky
either with telescope or naked eye.
I must be a poor astronomer
to be missing such phenomena.
Halley’s Comet, meteors, nebulae
are celestial marvels I never see.
The cloudy skies keep them out of sight,
besides, I’m asleep at that time of night.
I can’t even muster
a globular cluster.
Astronomers like to play little games:
constellations don’t look like their names;
Uranus is rude, ‘yurrenus’ will do;
we can’t have a planet doing a poo.
Life on other planets is unlikely:
the concept is totally alien to me.
Despite all this I carry binoculars
in case I discover some new stars.
My friends find this all rather comical
– the odds against it are astronomical.